USA Bus Lines

Is it bad to strike up a conversation with strangers at a bus stop, on rapid transit or in a grocery line?

I have started to take the bus to work every day and have an observation about human nature-- people are weird. I can not understand how we can stand next to the same people at the bus stop every day and sit next to them on the bus and then the Metro and not acknowledge each other. Not even a hello. Some of these people have stood next to each other for months and even years and still have not acknowleged each other. We stand next to each other for as long as 20 minutes if the bus is late but not a word is spoken. I have tried to make some small talk but the looks that people give me. Is this a sign of the break down in our society?

Public Comments

1. I know how you feel....and I feel that a stranger is an acquaintance waiting to happen and could turn into a great friend relationship in my life. I used to have to use the local laundromat and my mom helped me get a washer and dryer because I was getting run down from trying to take care of my family and a lot of other things that goes with a handicapped husband and pre-teen still at home. I loved the washer and dryer but really missed meeting people and especially their children. I could make friends with a telephone pole so I have a great problem understanding people who never speak to others also.
2. no, i think people are just like that. some want to talk to random people, most don't.
3. you don't want o give them a life history but a Hi, How's your day or such is just polite!
4. I see nothing wrong with conversing with strangers while standing in lines or at a bus stop. I do it all the time.
5. I see nothing wrong with it. But me personally, I don't like people because the majority of them are idiots, and conversing with them sucks.
6. This is very interesting - I've wondered about this same topic for quite some time. For some reason, people seem to invest in the community and in each other less than they used to. People are "conservative social investors" I suppose - and why? I suppose people are more into themselves than they used to be, and because of this, are less open to being approached by strangers in a grocery line or at a bus stop - even if they a person on a regular basis. Like you said, it's amazing that if you approach someone you see on a regular basis, YOU are out of the norm - but I have found something that works... Sometimes a simple nod will be received well - and then letting the other person take the next step (Hello) can work - in other words, the OTHER person chooses to speak after a basic friendly gesture, like a nod.... But it takes a long time for a friendship to develop, if ever...and sometimes, people are weird/not compatible with you, so you should try to take your time making friends nowadays I think.... But you're right - I don't like what it signifies for society - but I don't think it's the end - I think it means we're more in our own worlds at this time in our history - we can partially thank technology for this.... Great observations!
7. Well, I'll tell you about me, I tend not to want to make small talk with people at the bus stop because then you feel like you have to make small talk every day. I will sometimes comment on something we are both seeing, or ask if the bus is late, but I don't go to far in a conversation. I'm an introvert, I long for solitude, and my travel time, is the only time, where my kids, my husband, my parents, my coworkers, etc. are not asking something from me or I don't have to interact with noone. It's my time alone to think about stuff, and I don't want to be bothered by people I don't know, and I don't really care to know. I'm polite, I smile, I nod, I will answer if someone says something to me, but I won't keep the conversation too long, I don't feel compelled to make friends, because we see each other every morning. I've been through a situation like this. It was a group of people, it started just small talk about the bus not coming or the weather, then it came to a point, that I fell like I had to always sit with them in the bus and keep the conversation going until we went our own way. When I wanted to be by myself and read or just relax, they gave me odd looks or kept inviting me to sit with them. I felt like I was responsible to break the group... I could hear them, oh she's not in a good mood this morning, or something like that, and I would rage inside, thinking no, I don't have to sit with all of you everyday!At one point, I couldn't take it anymore. I ended up taking another bus earlier or later and then a new bus line. Since then, I just smile and acknowledge but I always have a book in my hand as if too say I'm busy or too engrossed in my book, don't bother me. I just want this time alone for me it's the only time in the day, that no one is asking something from me, or I don't have to interact with noone, it's my relaxing time. Is that such a bad thing, especially nowadays, when life is so stressful. In the morning, after stressing to get the kids all ready for school, this is my time to relax before going to work, and after work, it's my time to decompress an be in a good mood for my kids... But some people are extroverts and they constantly need interaction with people. They take it personally that the person does not respond, when in fact they don't really have to. It's the same thing at work, do you know everyone in your workplace? You see them everyday, you nod and you keep going, but you don't feel like you have to strike a conversation with them everytime. So this is why I don't make small talk with strangers at the bus stop!
8. coming from a small city 50000 to abig city is like day and night people in a big city look stunned if you say good morning. they seem to be afraid or dont trust anyone.
9. No, of course not. It's not bad at all and makes the world a bit more tolerable and nicer. I chat with strangers all the time and most of the time get a good reaction. But the thing is to pay attention to a person's body language. If the person is facing away from you, has their arms folded or is looking down, then perhaps it's best not to strike up a conversation. If the person has open body language, maybe start off by saying "Hi" with a smile and then if the person smiles back just comment on something like the weather or maybe compliment them on their bag, clothing, hairstyle. But don't go overboard. Anyway, to be friendly but not too familiar is the best way to be. The world needs more happy people. :)
10. Most people have a cell phone, and this allows them the freedom to talk to someone they know if they feel the need to talk. This may have something to do with it. And it seems people are less likely to offer a stranger assistance than say, 10 years ago. There are lots of reasons for this, and this could lead to the adversion of talking to strangers.
11. l believe this is xenophobia- fear of strangers- that is inherent in humans. We didn't see much of this when there were fewer people, nor in small towns, because everybody could pretty much identify with each other, but think about when someone of a different race moves in: they're usually shunned until they fit in, the strangeness goes away, prejudice based on fear. In our diverse society l think people do not want to get involved with strangers because we're on overloads of stress and any new social interaction causes more unconscious stress and automatic decisions we just don't want to expend energy to make. Also daily reports on the news about the evil things people do to each other act as deterrent to perhaps get "sucked in" into who-knows-what? l agree with the person who posted: you nod first, wait for the response, don't take it personally when it doesn't come.
12. Nothing wrong with exchanging a smile :)
13. This morning i said good morning to an old man walking towards me and he said hello back so I would say no I dont think society is breaking down. Sometimes people are afraid to speak to somebody in case they upset them . I often chat to the next person when I am waiting to pay for my shopping and i generally find that most people are quite friendly.. If I were you I would persevere do it tomorrow on your way to work give your self a challenge...Good luck..