USA Bus Lines

My boyfriend has enough baggage to fill a Greyhound Bus.....?

...4 kids, (ages 14- 9) and a demanding, control freak ex-wife....sooooo every night this month he's gone to one of the boys baseball game until at least 10 pm. And in June he has to work nights because all the kids will live at his house for "visitation". I normally stay at his house during the week and sometimes during the weekends when the kids are there. I have my own house, we don't live together, and we're not engaged. The X has no concept of my BF's personal boundaries and she schedules all these "activities" for the kids and expects my BF to be at all of them - every night... and if he isn't there she makes a huge deal about it. I just stay out of it and don't say anything- but when I told my BF that when he has the kids during the day and works at night I might as well stay at my house because he's not there anyway - he got upset. What's that all about?

Public Comments

1. He must be the last man on earth LOL Can't you do any better that his loser?
2. The only what you need to think about is the why you are even with him. No one needs this much drama in their life. What are you desperate or something?
3. Sanjaya?
4. If you love him...stay with him. But, realize that this is his life and if you stay together it becomes your life too. Your call...
5. Then put him on the bus and send him on his way !!
6. you're selfish. and his kids are, and should be, more important than you
7. He is just supporting his kids. He might of gotten mad because he thought you might be okay with it.
8. It's good to hear your eyes are open....Give yourself time to think if you really want this guy or not, because he sounds like he's got a lot of things to deal with! As for his getting upset about your comment, don't fret over it. Deep down he knows you are right, and it bugs him he can't deny his reality. Good luck.
9. He needs to realize that this is his EX wife. She can't control him. It's great that he loves his kids and wants to be there for them, but he should talk to them and let them know that, but also that he can't make it to all of their stuff. They can have some alone time with their mom. Also, maybe you should go with him to some of the kids' things. It doesn't sound like you are doing much in this relationship either.
10. Well, he needs you there at night so he can work. You did say that he had to work nights right?
11. Sounds like he is keeping you as a babysitter. Sorry honey but I side with the ex on him being at all the games. He shouldn't have had 4 kids if he didn't want 4 times the responsibility. You are one smart cookie not to be engaged and not to shack up with him. If I were the ex I would have a hissy about you being in his bed on the nights the kids are there. (what kind of a moral message is that sending to the young men?) Since you view your bf fatherly duties as "baggage" I suggest you find someone that has more time to cater to just your needs.
12. All I can tell you is what I tell my unmarried friends....if I had to do it all again, I'd choose a guy w/out baggage (and he only has one!). It'd great that his children are a priority, but the ex has way to much control. Imagine feeling the way you do right now - for the REST of your life.....I'd pass. Getting engaged or married isn't going to change a thing.
13. He probably got upset because he maybe thought you want to be more involved with the kids. Or he was looking for a sitter! Regardless, men with baggage are hard to handle... Maybe you should ask him what he expected of you? You should also seriously consider how your life will be if you stay with a man who has all this baggage...Good luck!
14. His kids are young and need their father figure. You are low on the priority. I hate to tell you, I'd do the same thing. Call it baggage or commitment, his schedule is occupied till the kids reach 18. It's not something you'd understand.
15. If I understood your question right, you're wondering why he got upset. It sounds like he wants someone to come home to. He misses that. Have you tried going to the baseball games with him? Baseball is a blast. You might actually have a good time and show him you care about not only him but his kids. If you don't show any interest in the kids why would you be in the relationship? He's got kids so that means he's a package deal and in this case he's a busload of a package. The more kids the merrier though. If you spend time with them you might like them. If you can't handle the ex and the kids' schedule (I agree he should be at alot of them) then break up. If you're not married what's there to worry about?
16. Biggest question here is "why are you still here?" What youre expriencing is the consequences of his actions due to his choices. He just doesnt want to be constantly reminded of his responsibilities. Obvisiously there is no more room on his bus for you so why are you still here?
17. who's going to babysit if you're not there??
18. His kids are more important than you. Period. If you can't deal with this you might as well get out now. All of us parents with kids in baseball LIVE at the fields during the month of June. My kids don't play ball because I have no personal boundaries, they play because they love it and its our job as parents to be there. You seem to have no concept of what it is to be a parent (not a bad thing...just fact). Either learn to give a little and be a part of his kids lives or break it off and find someone more like yourself.
19. Just one question, hon...Why are you even there.... do you hate yourself? Is your self-esteem so low you don't think you deserve any better? Sorry for ya hon.
20. Sounds like he was banking on you monitoring the kids while he slept. You made a right decision, though. I'd let him deal with the kids, and take that month for me. You are also wise to not interfere with the scheduling. She is His ex-wife. He's only going to be able to cope to the best of his ability in a terribly difficult situation. So, maintain Your boundaries. You'll just be cooking up resentment on the children's part if you allow him to put you in a parenting situation. I'm not saying don't go to the movies with him and the gang, I'm saying when it comes to maintaining the house, and getting meals on the table, that is his responsibility.
21. You need to put him on a Greyhound and send him the other way.